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  • leesaamarie

I am overcome with feelings...May, 1999

Dear JDC,

Tonight I thought, that while we must be apart, I would sit and write for you. It is not often that a soul is so inspired that one must pick up a pen to write down your absolute beliefs. The truths that lie deep within us are usually of the things that we tend to guard with meticulousness and caution.

Tonight I bear my soul to you. I leave myself open for ridicule or acceptance and this I am not afraid of. I am exposed, a feeling that most people would turn and run from yet I sit here and stare it directly in the eye, unafraid.

I am overcome with feelings of love, warmth and gratitude. The existence of you in my life has come as a complete shock to my inner being. At a time when I feel as though the beauty of the world exists only in fairy tale books, you show me only beautiful things. And when I close my eyes and see your smile, an image that is imprinted on my mind, I know that I have found my comfort.

I know that this man that stares back at me over the soft light of a streetlamp or peers over the blazing fire giving me an intense stare is man that has changed my life in so many ways. A man that has taken the qualms in my mind and turned them into a reality I thought was only possible in dreams. A man that may not want to believe the words that are overflowing from my hand yet, with the strange feeling of familiarity as if he's been here before, knows he cannot deny that these words are in fact true. And maybe we have been here before, in worlds that aren’t tangible. I know that in my mind’s eye I have often visited a place where these magnetic feelings make me feel invincible, this invincibility deriving from the very thought that together we will support each others actions and desires with our every last breath.

The beauty of you existing in my life is that you actually reside in a place very sacred to me, my thoughts. Every image that I capture during our time spent together is locked away in my mind's private slideshow.

I cannot explain to you with precise words the way that you make me feel. The way you touch my heart, body and soul is untethering. Having you in my life keeps me jovial yet pensive. While endlessly lost in my thoughts of life’s perplexities it is your alluring glance, your smile, and your “je ne sais quoi” that allows my spirit to remain vivacious and boundless.

You allow me to be the most important thing in life, ME.

How can articulate my deepest thanks to you for your existence? I don't know and I am not sure that I ever will.... The only words I have are the simplest of them all, thank you!

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